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May 29, 2009
It is Harmful to Fall Sick in May
Just as we have a warning on cigarette packets that states, "Cigarette smoking is injurious to health", we need to popularize another rule that says, "It is harmful to fall sick in May".
Let's look at these two scenarios.
Scenario 1: You have a cough and some cold and fever. You go down to your friendly neighborhood family physician and you find that he has gone on vacation to Nainital and will be back only after 10 days. There is a junior locum doctor, but you remember a "not-so-good" experience with the last one and you decide not to go to him. Your backup family physician is also in Panchgani and will return only after 8 days. You now decide to manage things on your own with the help of the local chemist and pray and hope for the best.
Scenario 2: You have a nodule in the lung, discovered on a routine, yearly chest x-ray. Your family physician is leaving for London after 3 days. You immediately get a CT scan done. A CT-guided biopsy is now required, but the radiologist who performs this is going to Sikkim tomorrow. You need to see an oncologist as well, but if you do that, the radiologist will have gone, and then you might have to get the biopsy done with a junior colleague or somewhere else. Already stressed, you get the biopsy done the next day, but the report will come only after 4 days. In the meantime, the recommended oncologist is also leaving for a Europe holiday in 3 days. You try to call up the pathologist, but she is not in town and will return from her vacation only two days later and it is unlikely that the report will be ready in time. In the meantime, you get a PET/CT done, which shows that if the nodule is cancerous, surgery is the best option. You now have to see an oncosurgeon, but all the chest oncosurgeons are on vacation and the first one will return only after 10 days.
The biopsy report is positive for cancer, but by the time the biopsy report comes, the oncologist has left for his vacation. You try two other oncologists recommended by the family physician, but they are out of town as well. The family physician has also left by now and there is no one to handhold you through the whole process. You see a fourth oncologist, but since he was not recommended by your family physician, you are not sure whether to go by his suggestions. By now, 12 days have gone by and your stress levels are sky-high. The oncosurgeon has just returned, but his secretary refuses to give an appointment for the next 3 days, since the appointment diary is full because of the backlog....
I'm sure you've figured out what the issue is. May is the month when virtually all doctors (except those whose children are entering the 10th standard) go on leave. And when the doctor(s) you want to go to is/are on leave, scenarios similar to the ones that I have described above are not uncommon.
The May phenomenon is tied to the school holidays. But over the years as more and more doctors have taken to going on long vacations, other doctors have followed suit as well and the whole "vacation" issue has snowballed. Unfortunately, we can't ask doctors not to go on vacation. Hence, the only solution available to the general population is "Don't fall sick in May".
Posted by bhavinj at 05:43 AM | Comments (0)
May 22, 2009
The Daya Gada Laugh
One laugh.
One laugh that has the power to change so many lives and fortunes.
So first, about the laugh!
It is not easy to describe this laugh in words. At first hear, it almost sounds like a donkey braying, but that's obviously what it is not! The laugh actually starts a little softly, but then quickly reaches a crescendo, with a staccato of 4-5 "he-he-he"'s. And despite the fact that Mrs. Daya Gada laughs like this at least once during each episode, it almost always appears spontaneous. You can tell by just looking at her eyes, which never stop twinkling through the entire length of the laugh. It is obvious that Daya is having a blast and perhaps that's the precise reason why this laugh is so infectious. When Daya Gada laughs, you laugh...it's very, very difficult not to.
Now, about the lives and fortunes!
This laugh has definitely changed the fortunes of Ms. Disha Vakani, who plays Daya Gada, a "from-the-village-shifted-to-the-city" MTM (Maniben trying to be Mod), who speaks before she thinks, but is not a dimwit (a difficult balancing act), unlike for example, Supriya Pathak's character in Instant Khichdi. In fact at times, Daya actually turns the tables on her husband, whose favorite response to most Dayaisms, is the retort, "nonsense". Considering that Ms. Vakani's filmography till date is quite forgettable, she has obviously seized this opportunity with her hands, legs and every other appendage that she has and immersed herself completely into the Daya Gada character with full abandon, hamming away to glory with a classic Gujju/Kathiawari/Kutchhi accent that works perfectly despite the "loud" performance.
Her laugh has also brought into the limelight, Mr. Tarak Mehta, a popular Gujarati writer, whose column "Duniyane Undha Chashma", which translates loosely into "seeing the world through upside-down glasses", in the weekly Chitralekha, is the basis for this sitcom, "Tarak Mehta ka Ooltah Chashma" (TMOC).
Daya's laugh is one of the main reasons for the success of TMOC. The sitcom may be in Hindi, but it is Gujarati and Kutchhi at heart, with many community touch-points that I suspect often bounce over the heads of non-Gujju, non-Kutchhi viewers. TMOC's thrust is supposed to be its so-called social message and theme, especially with respect to Tapu, Daya Gada's son, Daya actually being just a minor character in the weekly column. However, Ms. Vakani has made Daya's persona so popular and powerful that TMOC's focus has now quietly shifted more and more towards Daya Gada and her antics.
This laugh is also one of the reasons for the altered perception of the channel on which TMOC airs. SAB TV till date has been just another channel at the periphery of our consciousness, with no real claim to fame, except perhaps for the sitcom "FIR", which incidentally also stars another very interesting woman character. In the crowded space of general-purpose Hindi channels, populated by Star Plus, NDTV Imagine, Colors, Real, Zee and Sony, all battling for "saas-bahu", "orphan/widowed children" and "song-dance reality show" eyeballs, SAB seems to have broken away, by focusing on "comedy" serials and sitcoms. Of all the sitcoms airing currently, TMOC is undoubtedly the best and probably the most popular, having actually managed to draw away viewers from "Jai Shri Krishna" on Colors, which also airs during the same 8.30PM slot.
The power of one laugh.
Posted by bhavinj at 05:41 AM | Comments (0)
May 15, 2009
The Generational Language Divide
My tube-light finally stopped flickering today!
Whenever I have sat with feedback and comments from readers and friends, I've often felt the presence of a half-explained, ill-formed thought, swirling in the nether-regions of my mind, without clear definition and form; a thought that finally surfaced yesterday, as an obvious realization, when short of ideas for today's column, I started going through previous comments and suggestions from readers as well as responses to an "ideas" request on Facebook.
Let's see if you get it!
Reader/Friend 1: i think d ongoing craze n fan following 4 ipl is jst d bst topic 4 u 2 write on.........lyk ppl jus leavin their work aside and going 2 the nearest tv showroom, friend's place......or even a radio at the panwalla's place jus 2 gt d score!!!!!
Reader/Friend 2: Well i am a 19yr old boy doing computer science not by interest but by confusion or may be i had no other options.I dont know is it just me who has landed up in something i never wanted to do or there are 1000s of students like me who are doing sumthing they aren't interested in.
Reader/Friend 3: i saw ppl doing their daily WALKS on the sky walks..
is that what they were meant for...
Reader/Friend 4: Premium Fuel - Recent research has suggested that the premium fuel is only a farce has no significant improvement over regular fuel. Moreover, the pricing of the premium fuel is not regulated and has not relation to the price of regular fuels.
Did you get it?
Reader/Friend 1 is a 16-year old, Reader/Friend 2 is 19 years old, Reader/Friend 3 is 22-23 year old, studying in a professional college and Reader/Friend 4 is an adult, probably in his late-30s/40s. Did you get the gradual change in the writing method from Reader/Friend 1 to Reader/Friend 4?
When texting, I too use "c u at 4" to increase my typing/thumbing speed. Also, "Laughing out Loud" does not have the same impact as LOL. But this is nothing compared to the way teens and 20-odd-year olds communicate these days; it is a completely different lingo when it comes to the written word and it is quite obvious that the use of the English language has changed and that too dramatically. If the generation gap between my parents and me is a small divide, the one between the current 16-25 year-old kids and my generation is a chasm!
And yet, I am not a purist. In the early days of SMS, I just couldn't bring myself to thumb "ur gr8". But language and circumstances do evolve and utility and practicality often will win out! Nevertheless, irrespective of age and generation, bad spelling and grammar are still not acceptable, especially if someone writes the way an adult reader did last week.
Reader/Friend 5: I want to join with you and clean-up this indiscipline driving parking and make driving more peaceful than chasseing one other. What you do to a guy trying to squeeze in between when you are in a queue at a toll nakka or a Police bhendavast ? Some rules to be implemented. All buses to be play extreme left side of the road. BEST should be avoid moving on small roads and by lanes. Band all plastic bags.
In fact, I would go as far as to say that I would prefer any day that people go short on the language like the 16-year old, rather than macerate every aspect of the written English, the way Reader/Friend 5 has done.
Posted by bhavinj at 05:38 AM | Comments (0)
May 08, 2009
What to Do When Someone Blocks Your Building Gate with His/Her Car- A Collaborative Primer
Among situations that cause instant angst, perhaps none stokes my temper as much as finding my building gate blocked by a car that prevents me from leaving or entering, depending on whether I am going out or coming back home.
This is the time when most of us will completely lose it and try to do something really drastic to teach the erring driver a permanent and brain-searing lesson.
Things like...
1. Take a sharp instrument (usually a key) and run it across the length of the car to create a nice, long signature scratch in the shiny paint. Does anyone remember Woman in Red or the recent Aamir Khan commercial?
2. With all your force, kick the side door as hard as possible to make a big dent. Take care not to injure your foot in the bargain.
3. Deliberately, change your car's position and then reverse the bumper edge into the side door. Try to inflict as little damage to your own bumper as possible.
These however are vicious acts that can have their own unfortunate consequences. To see if there were gentler methods of punishment that could perhaps be more effectively employed, I polled my friends on Facebook for their thoughts and opinions. The suggestions below are a typical example of present-day collaborative thinking and writing, each writer/friend acknowledged by his/her initials. The words in italics, both above and below represent my own additional thoughts.
4. Deflate tyres (BJ). This is the most obvious, but leaves the car still standing there and therefore works only if have an alternate way of getting out or in.
5. Park cars on either side of the "blocking" car and box it in (AS). This may not always be possible, since we have to arrange for at least one more car, but it seems to be a good idea if we can make it work.
6. Put sand and stones in the petrol tank (FV). The problem here is that the petrol tanks in most cars are locked and can only be opened from the inside.
7. Paint the car (AM) and/or spray paint "Don't Block Gate" on that car (STG). The only problem here is that most of us in Mumbai don't keep paint cans at home.
8. Force the window open and empty the garbage from the entire building into the car (JS). Lovely, dirty idea, but if I was that good at opening locked car windows, I could just as well put the car in neutral and push it away.
9. Get four dogs and let them do their job (SF). Four dogs...in Mumbai? Plus, we have to wait till the erring driver shows up.
And then as usual, the most sensible and calm suggestion came from two women (AM and RS)
10. Call the cops and ask them to tow the car away and pay for the towing. This may cost a bit, but it's probably the best way to get revenge without losing your own temper. According to AM, this works all the time and the cops usually land up without fail in about 10 minutes and sometimes faster if you express some anger while speaking with them. What is really gratifying though, is that most of the times, the person whose car has been towed away gets really hysterical and angry and this can be an amazingly soothing balm for our angry souls.
Posted by bhavinj at 05:35 AM | Comments (0)
May 02, 2009
The Times, They Are A-Changin'
The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'
Bob Dylan, "The Times They are A-Changin"
You can mark the milestones in your life by the cars you've had. In 1983, my first car was a hand-me-down Ambassador that had been in the extended family for more than 20 years, a car with gears so hard that by the time I learnt to drive it expertly, I could've driven any vehicle, large or small, on Indian roads.
In the early 80s, we also bought our first Premier Padmini. The waiting list was for more than 3 years, but we managed to get an out-of-turn car through some professional quota. Given the prevailing imperious attitudes, arranging a loan from the local bank and taking delivery of the car from Premier Automobiles were both quite harrowing tasks; the bank was the nicer of the two. Once we got the car we never went back to the company for anything; which explains why there was a flourishing business in places like Koliwada, for repairmen and mechanics. That company completely deserves its current fate (Dylan was so prescient).
Then came the Maruti revolution, which not only ushered in the era of choice, but also allowed cars to be purchased without any significant waiting. And by the time we bought the Zen in the mid-90s, private banks had already started their liberal and aggressive lending policies, which we first experienced when we moved to a Honda City in 1998. By then, things had completely changed. From the time we entered the showroom till the time we left after a test drive, we were treated as if we really mattered as customers, a phenomenon that was further amplified in the years to come, by companies like Hyundai. The next couple of car purchases were even simpler with the car companies and the banks actually falling over themselves to give loans and extend freebies, to the extent that for one car, we actually received an interest-free, one-year loan.
But all these "changes-for-the-better" suddenly felt quite insignificant last Saturday, when I sat with this MacBook Pro, fired up Firefox, went to tatanano.com and clicked "Book Online". I chose the model, input my personal details and paid the deposit through my netbanking account...all in a mere 10 minutes. Sure, there is a waiting list for the Nano and I may not even get an allotment this time; but I was actually able to book the car and pay for it online, in the comfort of my office, without having to bother about showrooms, bank loans, etc.
It is not just that the car is relatively inexpensive and significantly "green" as compared to the others in the market. The Nano shows us how far we have come; from those times when a Premier Automobiles clerk or peon could throw us out of the showroom if we made even the slightest mistake during the purchase process, we are now in a world, where we can see, book and pay for a car online without having to interact with any human-being, if we so desire.
But do you know what the Dylanesque paradigm shift is? India is the only country in the world today where you can actually and truly buy an entire car online. Trust me...I've searched and searched and searched.
Posted by bhavinj at 05:14 AM | Comments (0)
