The Chief Convenor reads out the problem for the benefit of the members.
"There is a planet called Earth, which, for those who may not remember, is situated in the backyard of the galaxy in a ten-planet solar system. For some time now, this planet has been hosting a beauty pageant called 'Miss Universe'. As you know, this is in direct violation of our trademark laws, since the Federation holds all rights to this name. Moreover, we have investigated and found that the contestants in this pageant are from different lands of Earth only, and no other planet in the universe participates; thus 'Miss Universe' in any case is an inappropriate name. In fact, the people of this planet are so brazen and presumptuous that they believe that they are the only living beings in the universe."

"Let's just blast them out of the universe", says the aggressive Makeron.

"I agree", says the Jacara. "I have done some study of this planet and the people don't deserve to exist. They eat other living things, they fight, they kill each other and are jealous, pompous and conniving."

"Is that why they are still not part of our system?" asks the Alduvit.

"Yes and no", says the Chief Convenor. "Part of what Sim from Jacara said is true, but they have also not yet achieved the basic technology required for sustained space travel. All in all, they are immature and destructive, a deadly combination, and it will be many centuries before they become eligible for membership."

"So why don't we just blast them. If I remember, didn't we do the same with the second planet of their system in 20459?" repeated the Makeron.

"Why not just abduct the organizers of the event? Or the pageant winners?" asks the Alduvit.

"It won't help", said the Chief Convenor. "And what will we do after abducting them? They'll either go back with crazy stories about alien abductions or they'll go out of their minds. And the last two times when we abducted Miss Universes for short periods in an effort to understand them, they went back with unexplained problems; Sushmita Sen had an inexplicable increase in the size of her breasts and all the people from her native land India, thought she had put implants in them. And the one they call Alicia Machado put on so much weight when she was here that when she went back, she almost lost her title."

He continued. "The Minister, Gerard has a plan, if all of you agree. For many centuries now, we have had our agents on this planet; they file regular news updates and once in a while, if necessary, intervene to change the course of events on the planet. We have thought of asking one of them to take over this contest."

On cue, a hologram of the agent takes center-stage.

"Our agent Garwd from Obkaria is called Donald Trump on Earth. Trump-man is rich by Earth standards and owns a lot of property. We have instructed him to buy the pageant. Once he does that, one of our agents will contest every year and Trump-man will make sure that he/she wins the Earth contest. The participants they replace will be abducted by us permanently and brought to our central museum. Our agents will thus be famous people on Earth and will be in a better position to serve our cause. In the first decade of the 2000s, Trump-man will also become President of the USA, the most powerful country in the world."

Everyone agreed that this made sense. The Jrear echoed everyone's thoughts by saying, "This is like killing two birds with one stone. We will have our retribution and our agents will be better placed to direct events on this planet."

Earth-Year 2000, Galactic Year 35958
Report of the Chief Convenor.

"This is an update on the matter regarding the 'Miss Universe' copyright violation by the planet Earth. As we had planned, our agent Trump-man bought the Miss Universe contest in Earth-year 1997. He immediately started creating controversies to popularize the event. He divorced his wife Marla who was to co-host the 1997 contest, which she did despite the divorce. He openly spoke against the 1996 winner Alicia Machado who had gained weight after we abducted her. When Miss Puerto Rico posed in semi-nude pictures, which was against the contest rules, he had a 'personal interview' with her and endorsed her participation. He has also started taking the contest to small places like Trinidad & Tobago and Cyprus on Earth, in a quid pro quo arrangement; publicity for the place and many freebies for the organization.

As far as the winners are concerned, he has made sure that our agents win. Qerateic from Jabalga won as Brook Lee from USA in Earth-year 1997, Miwada from Asra won as Wendy Fitzwilliam from Trinidad & Tobago in 1998, Karas from Wilderang won as Mpule Kwelagobe from Botswana in 1999 and recently Saldagap from Ilnast won as Lara Dutta from India.

And according to plan Trump-man will become President of the USA in either Earth-year 2004 or 2008."