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As you can see, I have not been very active for a variety of reasons.

I have decided now to consolidate all my writings since 1999 at one site - www.bhavinj.com

Not only am I uploading all the legacy articles, I am adding one new post each week on different topics.

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Bhavin

The plan is to rewrite and update all my Matunga pieces that I wrote for Mumbai Mirror and to write a few more, to create a comprehensive historical and contemporary repository for the Matunga mentality.

I would love to hear from you in the comments section and do subscribe if you would like a Matunga post in your email box every Tuesday morning. And do share with friends and family, if you think they would like to read these once a week Matunga pieces.

The Index catalogues the pieces.

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Background: This write-up is an amalgamation of two pieces, the first published in October 2005 (How Green in My Matunga) and the second in September 2006 (Aamchi Mumbai), before and after I had acquired a copy of Jehangir Sorabjee’s amazing book, “Above Bombay”.

I had always believed I knew everything one needed to know about Matunga…until Jehangir Sorabjee in mid-2005 sent me two pictures he had shot of Matunga from a helicopter. Whenever he had an opportunity, Jehangir would get into a chopper and fly over the city, shooting pictures from overhead vantage points. These photos eventually became the book, Above Bombay. 

The photo of King’s Circle on page 162 shot hovering just above Don Bosco immediately catches your eye. It is seen as a round, completely green island, circled by a grey concrete road, in turn rimmed by squat, flat buildings. Radiating from the circle, in a Beybladish manner, are its seven spidery arms,  including the main arterial Ambedkar road, which is part of NH1 and runs North-South. So, if you face north (12 o’clock), Ambedkar road makes up the 12 and 6 o’clock positions with three roads at  7 (Bhandarkar Road), 9 and 10 (Bhaudaji Road) o’clock towards the West and 3 and 5 (Adenwalla Road) o’clock towards the East.

Matunga is a green place, when seen from a height, all the roads lined with trees, masking the drabness of the old, landlord-owned, 1+3 storied buildings, with their peeling plaster and rain-water streaks, though the new high-rises are changing the landscape, at least aesthetically for the better. 

This recent picture (Aug 2021, 17 years later) of King’s Circle from Google Earth, shows that the green cover has not changed. The only difference is that the Circle is now interrupted by the long Sion-Dadar flyover, like the face of a wrist watch, with its strap.

The 2005 image (which was likely shot in 2004 or 2003) is interesting. There is almost no traffic, except for a few cars facing northwards on the wrong side of the Circle, with a huge number of people, lining both sides of Ambedkar road and the entire circumference of the Circle. There is one truck, opposite Amar Petrol Pump, in which, from that height, you can just about make out the Ganpati idol, on its way to Shivaji Park to be immersed into the ocean. 

Jehangir couldn’t have chosen a better day to shoot King’s Circle, perhaps the only day, when people-power takes over the roads and pavements. The photograph does full justice to what the Circle looks like on the evening of Anant Chaturdashi. What the photograph does not capture though is the energy at ground level.

That year (2005) we had taken the kids to be part of this jamboree. At all times, I had one or the other kid on my shoulders (Ganpati-bapa style), trying to make sure they wouldn’t miss the fun. The number of eating carts were too many to count, and there was everything from pav-vada to Chinese American chopsuey, to “golas”, “buddhi-ke-baal”, kulfi and multiple types of ice-cream with kids and adults walking around selling cheap plastic Chinese toys and a variety of balloons. 

There were people and people and people everywhere.  Towards Dadar, Ambedkar road was clogged, with Ganpati-laden trucks and hand-carts, trying to make their way through the throngs of people crowding them, with intermittent cries of “Ganpati Bapa Morya” along with the latest “dhin-chak” music, interspersed with people blowing horns, for no reason whatsoever.  An equal number of people were settled on the large divider, some enterprising women having brought their plastic chairs and stools to sit on…the mistresses of all they could survey. These days, they sit in the garden and on the benches, “under the flyover”.

As on all Anant Chaturdashis, the Circle was throbbing with an indescribable energy, drawing from and then in turn enveloping everyone present, as if part of a huge orgy, in honor of Mumbai’s favorite deity.

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I AM FINALLY PUBLISHED! And yes, I will use "all caps"! It just feels so good; I know I am justified in shouting.

Oh, okay! It may not seem like such a big thing to most of you, considering it is just one small satire in a book featuring over 25 authors. And it is not as if Indian authors are not being published every other day. But considering what I've had to go through to get here (don't worry, I am not coming up with a hard-luck story), it feels like a big thing to me.

When I started two years ago, all I knew was that I wanted to write. To make sure that I would write consistently every week, I started my website and became a regular columnist at a couple of other sites. For one and a half years, I was able to key my words on the notebook screen with prompt regularity, week after week, churning out rants and reviews, essays and satires, until everything fell apart in February. I hate cribbing, but with a 6.00AM to 6.00PM work schedule, evening with the twins and travelling all over the country on weekends, something had to give, and the immediate casualty was my non-medical writing.

Sulekha Team (mainly Venkatesh, I suspect) actually got it right on the noggin, in that small footnote on the first page of my piece that starts on page 38 and ends on page 42. With a good amount of sarcasm he mentions at the end "He is a doctor by profession and recently became a father of twins; both these nearly full-time occupations have added depth to his writings, but taken away the time that he needs to devote to his writings." Every weekend I promise myself that I will write a new piece. My notebook's subdirectory called MFM/Writings is littered with half-completed pieces; some of these were topical at the time they were written and have had to be abandoned since; the rest are waiting to be reopened and reworked upon. In the bargain my subscriber list and website, Sulekha and India Parenting have all been left in the lurch; the loss is mine, not theirs.

Venkatesh over the last three months or so had been corresponding with me about Sulekha Select. I had been replying to him at a spinal level, complying with his wishes, filling out forms, sending off some declarations, etc. Yesterday three copies of this book finally reached me at work. I opened the Elbee jacket, saw the books, a pressing phone call interrupted any "Sulekha" thoughts that might have crossed my mind and I forgot all about them. Today, when I finally saw the books again and took one in my hands, saw the elegant cover, my name among the author-list on the front page and riffled through the pages, it finally sunk in. I WAS FINALLY PUBLISHED! And as if that was not enough, I was in terrific company.

The immediate next piece in the book is by Nagesh Kukunoor who I know as the director of Hyderabad Blues, a nice hip film, which I liked immensely. Ramesh Mahadevan, who is one of the funniest writers I know. Mahesh Krishnaswamy from Singapore who is often Wodehousesque and great fun. And Ashini and Neeta are e-colleagues from a small writing group that was started a year ago, but eventually petered out as everyone became busier with other things. Ashini is a great critic and I remember how she completely nixed my sexist satire on Madhuri Dixit's marriage. Tanushri who hit Sulekha with a bang; I almost met her last year when Venkatesh came down to Mumbai, but I guess she was daunted by the travel from Vashi to Churchgate all alone at night and we never eventually met. The only other person who I have met besides Venkatesh (who I think is a bloody genius), is Abbas Tyrewalla, who will one day be very famous and we'll see him during a Filmfare award going on stage to receive a best lyricist or screenplay award. Sailendra Singh's wit is famous in the e-group SASIALIT, 144 mails of which are lying in my inbox waiting to be deleted. And of course Rupa Gawle, who stormed into Sulekha with her angst-ridden ABCD article; she never did reply to any of my mails though. And Satya (and Sangeeta), who gave me my first big break by making me a columnist at Sulekha (a decision I hope they don't regret or retract, despite my irregularity); Satya was in Mumbai for three days a few months ago and we couldn't just manage to meet each other; that's how crazy life has been. I know I'll have to go to Austin one of these days just to say hello and thank you.

When I started writing, my aim was to first clear the cobwebs, get the words flowing and then sit down to write the "great Indian novel". Only of course, the "great Indian novel" no longer exists. I know now that there is no way I will ever be able to achieve the kind of word play that Arundhati Roy and Pankaj Mishra possess. Yet I know that someday my novels will come through; they are just a matter of time. And when I start hawking those manuscripts to publishers (not everyone gets immediately snapped with a million dollar advance), this Sulekha Select publication will be my first reference. Thanks Satya, Sangeeta and Venkatesh.

And maybe from tomorrow, I'll find that little extra time and inspiration to pen my 500 words a day. Hell, even if I can do 500 words a week, I'll be happy. And if I consider the way this piece has virtually typed itself a sign, then I guess I will be able to manage. So what if it is 1.00AM in the morning and I have to get up at 5.00AM to reach work at 6.00AM for a full day's work despite it being Saturday, followed by a reunion of my old hospital department at night, followed by a 6.00AM flight to Vadodara on Sunday morning for a lecture, followed by...

It feels great! And to all of you at Sulekha, thanks again!

Addendum: In the interim, I was always thinking of writing the “Great Indian” novel. My profession though will not allow that for some more time. In the interim, this book has happened, so I AM FINALLY PUBLISHED as a book author as well. And my prediction about Abbas Tyrewalla has come true as well. Despite the failure of his last film, trust me…he is a genius and will do really, really well.

August 2021 Addendum: I was wrong about Abbas. I never did get around to the “Great Indian” novel, but in the interim have published books on radiology topics and am working towards my “atmasvasth” book, given my obsession currently with living long, healthy. All of this you can read at www.matkamedicine.com

An earlier article of mine "Black, White and Various Shades of Brown" keeps showing up on search engines when people look for information on fairness products and creams.

In the last two months I have received mail from four individuals who in all seriousness have asked me to help them with information on fairness products. Two of those mails are reproduced below.

"Respected,

Let introduce to you myself that I belongs to Pakistan and 29 female. My question is what kind of cream I use to make my face little fair. As the people don't like black completion in here and Im confused about my completion. So please help in this regard.

Your suggestion is highly appricate.

Suggest me the cream or the recipies for the cream or ? which is easy availabl in my country

Thanking you for your anticipated cooperation

regard.
Rozina"

and

"Dear Sir
I have gone through an interesting article "Black, White and Various Shades of Brown" by you on web.

I am a Management student of Christ College Bangalore and doing a similar study on fairness creams "Consumer attitude towards the Fairness Creams in India"

I will be great full to you if you can help me in my study by forwarding any other such report or the Project Report you have mentioned in your article.

With Regards
Kamal"

I have put together a list of the top ten ways of becoming fair, so that I have a ready answer for all those who ask me stupid questions on fairness products and fair/dark studies.

"The Top Ten Ways of Becoming Fair"

10. Surround yourself with darker people.

9. Use talcum powder constantly, all over the exposed parts of your body...it would also be a good idea to buy shares in Johnson & Johnson.

8. Rub pumice stone all over your body; the Koli women use it on their legs to get rid of hair...it also leaves their skin fairer and lighter.

7. Immerse yourself in a tub of an industrial bleaching agent...twice a day for a year.

6. Migrate to the Arctic for at least 20 years...the lack of exposure to the sun will make your skin fair.

5. Wear a burkha permanently...it may have the same effect as going to the Arctic.

4. Research the leukoderma (albino) gene and inject it in your body.

3. Research the melanin pigment gene and invent an anti-melanin agent.

2. Ask John Woo and get a skin transplant done from a fair person (remember Face-Off?).

1. Contact Michael Jackson.

I came across a project report written by an executive of a US based multinational company which is considered to be a leader in the beauty care business. He had been sent to India, some months ago, to carry out a market survey for a new fairness cream. This particular fairness cream had done very badly in the US despite a very positive pilot study, and the company was stuck with a large inventory, which it had thought of dumping in a suitable third-world country. The MNC had no previous base in India.

This is the report that he sent.

SUMMARY
"India is a phenomenal market for fairness creams and our product should do well beyond all imagination. Despite the logistical problems of setting up a company in India (Annexure A), I believe that not only should we market the cream in India, but we should also set up our own base in India - not as part of a joint venture with a local company, as we had thought of doing earlier. Not only that, I believe that we should even be prepared to shift our production facilities to India if necessary, at short notice."

OBSERVATIONS:

"1. Indians are obsessed with skin color."

"2. A careful study of the classified matrimonial columns in the local and national papers, shows that the majority of the ads follow a set pattern. 'A fair, good-looking, Gujarati/Sindhi/Punjabi/Tamil lady wanted for an educated, well-settled man...'. If the girl is advertising for a groom, the ad goes something like, 'A fair girl with good temperament looking for....', or if the girl is not fair, euphemistically, 'A girl with a wheatish complexion.....'. Never in the last few months, have I come across an ad from either side mentioning a dark-skinned lady. This is because all things being equal (and sometimes even if not equal), a fair woman has a much better chance of bagging a good husband. (For an explanation of the concept of matrimonial ads and arranged marriages and their importance in the Indian scenario, please see Annexure B)."

"2. As soon as a child is born and its sex is known, the next thing looked at is the skin color. A dark skin in a boy is still acceptable, but in a girl is considered a liability. (Please see Annexure C for a more detailed local explanation.)"

"3. Indians have a poor tolerance towards races darker than them. In places like Kenya, where there is a large Indian population, a very derogatory attitude exists towards the native African population. The Indians there refer to them as 'Kaalia' or 'Karo", meaning black. (Annexure D for articles regarding this). A similar attitude exists towards Africans who come to study in India. They are looked upon with suspicion and in the event of even the slightest trouble involving them or their places of stay, they are arrested and considered guilty unless proved innocent. (Annexure E for reports in the press including protest letters by the Nigerian embassy). A couple of years ago, an African couple was denied entry into a South Mumbai pub, because the owner thought the couple would cause trouble. (Annexure F for a Mid-Day report on this). As an Indian friend tells me 'Our attitude towards the blacks is worse than the attitude that the whites had towards us - the apartheid spectrum seems to have shifted to the right of the color range.'"

"4. Just to illustrate this point further. I am sure you are aware of the controversy that Indian and Pakistani cab drivers in New York got into, when they refused a ride to Mr. Danny Glover, the actor, on the grounds that they were scared of blacks and would prefer not to go to areas with a predominant African-American population. (Annexure G for the New York Times coverage of this incident)."

"5. There is a sizeable community of Indians in the US. Though marriages and interactions between the white population and Indians are known, it is very rare for Indians to have emotional or sexual relations with African-American individuals. (Annexure H for a report by an Indian-American on this topic)."

"6. There are two popular brands selling fairness products in the local Indian market - they account for most of the market share. Of these two, one is actually a bleach, (we can stress this point in our ad campaign and run the company out of business) and the other is a cream similar to ours.(Annexure I contains copies of press advertisements of these products as well as statistics regarding their sales and market share)".

"7. In the Southern parts of India, where the people are much darker than in the northern parts, being fair is considered a godsend. In their movies, fair actresses and heroines are much better appreciated than dark actresses, even though the majority of the population is dark. (Annexure J for pictures of fair Southern movie actresses)".

MARKETING STRATEGIES:
"1. There are two target populations. The first is women in the age group of 17-25 whose need to be fair is directly proportional to their urge to get married. At this stage, they are extremely vulnerable to suggestions from any source, including ads, about products that would help make them fair. The second target population is men - they should be made to see the virtues of our cream using subliminal messages in our ads. They would then support the use of our product and sometimes maybe even suggest its use to their daughters and wives.

"2. The two competitive products mentioned above, blatantly extol the virtues of being fair, in their television ads. There is no opposition from the public or the advertising council regarding these racist ads, which would never have been allowed in our politically correct country. With our superior advertising and marketing concepts, we can push this divide even further - we can show how being dark is shameful and that nothing works like being fair, creating a situation where anyone even remotely affected by color, will have no choice but to use our products."

"3. To this end, we can use some fair actresses to advertise our product. This concept is very prevalent in the soap industry and though the actresses are expensive by Indian standards, the amount of money involved is not much by our standards (approximately 100,000$ or so for endorsement)."

"4. If we could get Michael Jackson to endorse the product in India, that would work wonders. We can show him during his "Thriller" days and compare that MJ to the new one, to show how even the darkest of dark people can become fair with the right attitude and skin-care products."

"5. There is a tendency to believe anything which has even the slightest scientific background to it. Shampoo and face-care companies run countless television ads showing pretty scientists in research and development departments strutting around extolling the virtue of their products that ostensibly have been developed after extensive experimentation. Since we have an R&D department, we could do the same by showing a dark, academic-looking Indian asking a fair, Indian, woman scientist working in our R&D department, leading questions about our fairness cream and looking terribly impressed by the results shown, so much so, that even she starts using our cream and notices a change, within a month."

CONCLUSION:

"To reiterate, India is a country, prime for the picking. We should see phenomenal sales and profits for our product in the country."

There is an interesting epilogue to this. The executive's superiors in the MNC approached his observations with the proverbial pinch of salt and thought he had gone overboard in his enthusiasm. The project was nixed and the extra stock of the fairness cream was dumped in a landfill. The frustrated executive quit the company and formed a start-up, with venture capital finance from some Silicon Valley Indian entrepreneurs who were the only ones who believed in the potential of his project that would include the manufacture and sale of a new, unique fairness cream in India. For those interested, the grapevine has it that the project is nearing completion and a product launch is just around the corner...

Addendum: Once published, I was so ecstatic that I wrote a piece titled “I Am Finally Published”  in April 2001. This article also started showing up in search engines when people used search-words like fairness creams, etc. Some actually mistook this to be a real corporate report and wrote back to me asking for more information and a copy of the annexures as well. Irritated, I penned a piece on these comments in September 2000, titled “The Top Ten Ways of Becoming Fair”. 

Nine days later, I got this email.

Something snapped.

I replied. 

A day later, this is what I got. They had replaced the “Doctor” with my name. 

I wouldn’t even have bothered, but a day later I received the email that Dr. Mark Schweitzer, the editor in chief of the Journal of Magnetic Resonance Imaging (JMRI), sends out along with the Table of Contents of the new issue.  He has transformed JMRI into a model that other editors could learn something from and his interesting monthly email, which I look forward to (I re-discovered Tom Petty because of him) addresses issues beyond radiology.

His current email is addressed to the radiologists and physicists who review the articles that get published in JMRI. He apologizes for his inability this year, to personally sign the appreciation certificates that go out to them. Reviewing is basically a thankless job…a personally signed certificate saying “thank you” makes a difference. Mark points out, in contrast, the  insensitive and disrespectful behavior of Donald Rumsfeld, who at some point stopped personally signing “thank you for your son’s service” letters, which are sent to the parents of young American soldiers who die in battle. 

The coincidence made me think.

I don’t expect much from people and so a little actually goes a long way. Most conference organizers do send a short “thank you” message via SMS or WhatsApp or email and that’s good enough. Some take the effort to call and that’s the little “cherry on top”. And then are people who send emails like the one I have shown.

If I hadn’t received any “thank you” note, I probably wouldn’t even have remembered. But this impersonal, boiler-plate, rubbish “thank you” email got my goat. And when I mentioned this to the sender, all they did was to delete the “Doctor” and replace it with my name, with no other acknowledgement or change in the contents of the email. What the hell did this organizer think… that I wanted to print and then frame the damn email and hang it on my wall as a remembrance? Seriously…?

Tehzeeb is a lovely Urdu word that stands for a combination of grace, etiquette and courtesy. Is that too much to ask for in return for the time I have given? 

What is it? Hubris? That the speakers don’t matter and the organizers are doing them a favor by inviting them to speak or participate? Callousness? Just a general lack of consideration and grace? If they cannot show courtesy to their own colleagues, how do we expect them to behave well with patients? Or is it online fatigue? Or are they just clueless? Or is it a lack of understanding of how to use electronic or social media? Or is it that there are too many speakers to thank? Even if there were 200 speakers, it wouldn’t take more than 2-3 hours to send personalized thank you notes.  Is that too much time to spend over people who have given you their time that could perhaps have been spent with friends and family?

It’s not just about doctors and their time. No one likes to be taken for granted. Anyone who is invited to give their time and participate in meetings, whether online or in person, whether a banker, or a lawyer, or a teacher, or a social worker….anyone who gives us their time…needs at the least a personalized “thank you”. 

It is better not to thank than to thank badly. And perhaps it is not a bad idea for conference organizers like these to attend a class on “tehzeeb”. It is never too late to learn a little grace and be a little more courteous. That’s not asking a lot, is it?

The plan is to rewrite and update all my Matunga pieces that I wrote for Mumbai Mirror and to write a few more, to create a comprehensive historical and contemporary repository for the Matunga mentality.

I would love to hear from you in the comments section, but you will need to subscribe with your email ID. Subscription is free. And do share with friends and family, if you think they would like to read these once a week Matunga pieces.

The Index catalogues the pieces.

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There are two theories of how the name Matunga came to be.

The first is based on the shortening of the name of a cluster of small hamlets called “Marubai Tekdi Gaon”, which became “Ma…Tun…Ga”. Marubai has been the kuldevi of the village of Matunga for the last 300 years and has grown in stature over the last few decades. The initial idol was under a peepal tree near King’s Circle, where a Jain derasar now stands, likely the one next to Anand Bhavan, but was shifted during the development of Vincent Road (the road from Dadar Circle to Sion Circle, now called Babasaheb Ambedkar Road), to its present location diagonally opposite Don Bosco High School, sometime in the early 1900s.

The second theory, which seems more likely is that the name, Matunga, is a corruption of the Sanskrit word for an elephant, “Matanga”. Matunga was part of Mahim, together forming one of the seven islands of Mumbai, called Mahikavati. The King of Mahim had his stables in what is now Matunga, and hence the name.

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After the plague epidemic in 1896, it was decided to decongest the city of Mumbai. The Bombay City Improvement Trust was formed to create a planned suburb and 440 acres of land was procured by the Goverment for the Dadar-Matunga-Sion corridor, with different communities given their own localities (hence we have Parsi Colony, Hindu Colony, etc). The main city was connected to Dadar-Matunga-Sion by the tram line, which ended just beyond King’s Circle at the BEST depot that now stands besides Aurora Cinema. It was also stipulated that no building will be more than 3 stories tall, which is why the entire area until recently had only ground plus 3 floor tall buildings. 

The idea was to also have multiple educational institutes in the area, which is how Don Bosco High School, ICT, VJTI and so many others came to be situated in Matunga. 

Jehangir Sorabjee in 2012 sent me a  treatise on Matunga written by Ms. Ruchira Banerjee in “The Bombay Explorer”, published by the “Bombay Local History Society”. Neither the Society nor the Journal is online, though the Society is active on social media. Ms. Banerjee’s fascinating article traces the history of Matunga and the Greater Matunga area, starting with its conception after the Great Plague of 1896, all through the displacement of the East Indian villagers in the VJTI - Five Gardens area, the relocation of the Marubai temple, the growth of the Kutchis and upper caste Tamils, the development of Parsi Colony and Hindu Colony on the outskirts of Matunga and the rise of Vardarajan, up to the current situation where the older buildings are giving way to high-rise condos and the area is becoming more and more homogenized with a Gujarat-Kutchi population.

That same week Mehroo had sent me a pdf of the origin of Mumbai street names by Mr. Ashwin Panemangalore, which is also available online. As Ashwin explains, in a meeting in 1911, the Chairman of the City Improvement Trust proposed that the road from Crawford Market to Sion Circle be called Kings Way and the central Circle in Matunga be called King’s Circle. While it has been renamed Maheshwari Udyan, most people still refer to the Circle as King Circle (without the “s”) or KingSircle, where the “’s” and the “C” merge into a single continuous syllable. 

In the last decade, I have twice taken friends on a walking tour of Matunga, starting at Aurora Cinema and ending at Koolar, one of the last standing Irani restaurants. Matunga is like a city within a city, heterogeneous, revealing different facades of itself as we walk from one street and area to another. 

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Matunga at the Centre of the Universe

Mapless in Matunga

How Matunga Came to Be

Above King’s Circle

Active Matunga

The Dangerous 3-4 in a Row Road Runners in Matunga

Many of you may remember manfrommatunga.com. It started in 1997 and has been around in spurts (1997-2002, then 2004 to 2014). This is now a third avatar.

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You have invited some friends over for dinner and drinks. The conversation turns to Covid-19 vaccines and there is an animated discussion on the pros and cons of the different vaccines available. Suddenly one friend pipes up, “I was unhappy that I did not have shoes, until I saw a man with no feet”.

Everyone stops talking, trying to understand what this friend has just said. Then one of you asks, “So this man with no feet took the vaccine?”. And the disrupter says, “Oh no, this uplifting message just came on my phone and I thought I should share it”. All of you look at him like an alien from outer space who doesn’t seem to understand how and when to speak and interject. Being a friend, you take the liberty to curse him for interrupting for no reason and breaking the flow of the conversation and then either continue or move on to something else. 

Now, let’s say the same discussion is animatedly happening on a WhatsApp group. Everyone is chatting and messaging about the vaccine. Suddenly one of the group members posts a forward about the man with no feet and everyone pauses to look at it wondering what relevance it has to the context of the discussion. It turns out there is none. The disrupter thought this was an “uplifting” message that needed to be immediately sent to all those 20 groups they belong to, the existing thread of conversation in those groups be damned. Most of us wouldn’t think much of it, but chances are the conversation would have been killed by this post. No one however would berate this disrupter, unless of course it was a joke in the middle of condolence messages.

Somehow, we don’t think that the same in-person rules of behavior apply to WhatsApp groups and many of us happily keep interrupting and disrupting existing conversation threads. Most disrupters seem seriously oblivious to the fact that a conversation (if at all there is one after the flowers and the Good Mornings and the Happy Birthday wishes) on WhatsApp should be treated in the same manner as a discussion in a physical room and that they can’t just interrupt it with an idiotic forward, no matter how how much they think it is important, unless it is a matter of life and death for either the disrupter or one of the group members, which would perhaps be a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, if ever at all. 

Venkatesh Rao in his book Tempo describes the four behaviors when adapting to the tempo of a new work environment, using car-driving as an example.

1. Merging - skillfully merging into the traffic, when entering a freeway for example.

2. Going with the flow - driving along with the rest of the traffic.

3. Pace-setting - changing the speed and leading the traffic without disruption.

4. Disrupting - tail-gating, cutting lanes, braking hard.

Similarly, if there is an ongoing conversation in a WhatsApp group or if you join an existing group (every group has different dynamics), you can use these skills to merge into the flow of the conversation, go with the flow and/or sometimes set the pace, but not disrupt.

And yet, ever so often (and this is not infrequent), there will a person or multiple people, who are clueless and like a bull in a China shop, will interrupt every flow with jokes or memes or trending news or the worst, “uplifting” messages on life. 

If you know anyone like that, do forward them this piece, so that perhaps they may be able to recognize themselves and hopefully change their behavior for the better.

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Background: This was the first piece that appeared on June 04, 2005 in Mumbai Mirror, in a section called Writer’s Bloc. My brief was to cover Matunga and depending on the number and frequency of the contributions by other authors, I would get published once in 10 days or two weeks. Not much has changed since then as far as our “Matunga mentality” is concerned. I have added a map.

We, Matungaeans (I hope I get the credit for coining this word) are a bit schizoid…at least those who live in the “right” part. Oh! You don’t know which the “right” part is? Let’s save that for another time.

So, coming to the “schizoid” part. When you ask people in Wadala or Sion or for that matter, even those in far-flung, remote places like Powai or Napean Sea Road, where they stay, they’ll say that they stay in Wadala or Sion or Powai or Napean Sea Road, as the case may be (or swap places, depending on who they are trying to impress). When you ask people in Matunga where they stay, the majority, and especially those who stay in the “right” part will say, “King’s Circle”.

Why “King’s Circle”? I am not entirely sure, but this central garden on Ambedkar road, though now called Maheshwari Udyan, does serve as the epicentre of Matunga, the other magnet being the Matunga market area. But the preference for “King’s Circle” may also have to do with our innate preference for old British names as against “Indian” names.

Having said that, a good number will actually just say things like, “behind Aurora”, “next to Don Bosco”, “opposite Sahakari Bhandar”, “behind Gandhi Market”, smug in their insularity that the entire world knows exactly where these places are. 

As if that’s not enough, the entire swathe between Nathalal Parekh Marg (i.e. the road on which Don Bosco school stands) and Rafi Ahmed Kidwai Road (“char rasta” in local parlance) is called “Sewri-Wadala Road, Scheme xyz, Rd 123”. I am sure this has some historical basis, but both Sewri and Wadala are reasonably far away and except for driving courier and delivery boys crazy, these names serve no purpose whatsoever. 

And things, don’t get any simpler. There are two stations; King’s Circle on the Harbour line and Matunga station on the Central line. On the other side of the tracks from Matunga station, is another station on the Western line, called Matunga road, which supposedly is a part of an area called Matunga (W), a tiny place nestled between Mahim and Dadar BB. And though our Matunga is actually Matunga with an unfashionable (E) for East, in a perverse reverse snobbishness, most people in King’s Circle / Matunga, don’t even bother to acknowledge the existence of Matunga (W).

Worse off are those at the boundary zones of Matunga. Does Sion start at the end of Gandhi Market, or at the end of King’s Circle station. Does Wadala start after UDCT or at the Wadala (E) bridge. Does Dadar start after Matunga Gymkhana, after Ruia college or after King George school. Which part of Bhaudaji road is in Sion and which part is in Matunga. The reason this is important, is because the “Matunga mentality” actually extends beyond these physical boundaries, making many of the border zone inhabitants reasonably confused as to their actual status. Oh, and now you want to know what the “Matunga mentality” is? Have patience…

Are you confused? Think about what we have to go through, living there, not even knowing what to call our place of stay! And you thought I was kidding about the schizoid part…

Addendum: The map here shows the mental Matunga map. Gandhi market is definitely Sion, though the police station opposite it and the King’s Circle harbor line station are obviously part of Matunga. Some parts of Wadala, especially the SIWS college lane and its surroundings are also assumed to be part of Matunga. St. Joseph’s and beyond is Wadala. Five Gardens is part of our Matunga, but J B Vachha school is not. Matunga Gymkhana is obviously in Matunga, as is Ruia college, but everything beyond that is Hindu Colony, in Dadar. 

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It’s been some years now since I have written about Matunga. The idea was to start with a piece on the difference between the mental and pincode geographies of Matunga, but I couldn’t help but begin with this, given the growing menace of this problem.

If you are one of those 3-4 in a row pack road runners in Matunga, but ignorant of the danger you pose to other solo runners and to yourself, then read on... I hope this will get you to change your running behavior. 

For those of you are not runners and have no clue what this is all about, here goes. Runners belonging to one of the many running groups that have come up in Matunga over the last few years, typically run together in a pack. Usually, there is one person in front and one at the back, the rest spread out in the middle. Many of those in the middle, run 3-4 together in a row, occupying and hogging most of the road as you can see in the figure below.

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The pack runners are anyway in danger, the one closest to the median of the road running the risk of being mowed down by a car or a truck or one of those killer BEST buses that now plows the morning roads at dangerous speeds, paying no heed to traffic signals. 

But the solo runner is also in danger with one of four options available, each with its own problems. One, run across to the other side of the road, with the danger of oncoming traffic? Two, run onto the median and then back, which perhaps is the most dangerous option? Three, plow through the pack with potential injuries all around? Or, four, run onto the pavement full of broken paver stones and potholes and twist an ankle? There is no good solution here, is there? 

Matunga has good running roads, but they are narrow. Running in the morning means negotiating other runners, walkers, late night lovers on their way home, milkmen on cycles, recreational cyclists showing off their shiny clothes and helmets, bikers, private cars, cars with parents in a tearing hurry rushing to drop off their young kids to sports training in Don Bosco, taxis of all kinds, tempos, buses, trucks, dogs, cats and double-parked stationery cars with full headlights on. Except for the dogs and those headlight-on, double-parked stationery cars, all the rest are fine…a runner is always acutely aware of their surroundings and can easily adapt to the fluid situation, especially if they run facing the traffic. 

But as a runner, I find it difficult to adjust to other runners who seem uncaring and oblivious to what they are doing. In the SIWS lane for example, every once in a while, I come across one particular private group of runners that just occupies the entire road from pavement to pavement, as if they own the space and everyone else is irrelevant. If you are reading this, you know who you are…please stop doing this!  

So, if you are one of those 3-4 in a row pack runners, I hope I have convinced you to run single file, or at best, two abreast, from now on, both for your safety and the safety of solo runners coming towards you or from behind you. And, if you are the owner, manager or coach of Striders or Stunners, or any other similar running group that is doing a wonderful job getting people in Matunga to be physically active, please, please teach your runners some running etiquette. You really don’t want any one getting injured on your watch, do you!

I would love to hear your thoughts or views on this. Please comment below, though you will have to first subscribe with your email to do so.

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To read more about the health benefits of running, without the need to run marathons, you can check out my piece on my other site, Matka Medicine and Atmasvasth titled, Runnn…Not Race.

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This concept is completely borrowed from an article by Annie Lowrey in The Atlantic. She talks about the time tax that people have to pay in the US to navigate the bureaucracy.

Any tax we pay is really a payment to the Govt or authorities for the services they provide, whether it is infrastructure or keeping us safe (defence) or managing our lives. Those who earn more, by and large pay more than the poor, who even if not taxed on income, still pay indirect taxes like the GST, which are universal.

Time tax is different. It is the tax we pay for the inability of the Govt to provide us the services we are supposedly entitled to, because of the monetary tax we pay,

E.g if I am stuck in traffic because of potholes on the roads or because the road is flooded, in turn because the authorities have not been able to fulfill their responsibilities to give us good roads, and I land up wasting time, that is a time tax I am paying…giving my time to the Govt and authorities in addition to paying monetary tax…a double whammy.

The value of the time tax varies. If time is not important in your life, then it may not matter. You may have so much of it, that to give some away because of the incompetence of our authorities may not mean much to you. On the other hand, if you try and make every minute count, then every second wasted because of someone else’s incompetence or idiocy is a tax you pay with your time.

Can we think of other examples?

1. Dealing with customer service in most instances is also a time tax, where over and above what you have paid for the service, you pay with your time.

2. Waiting for people. If you have to wait for someone who is late, that is a tax in time you pay for your friendship or for the outcome if that is a business meeting. If the other person is late because of the time tax they have had to pay, let’s say because the roads were clogged, then that becomes an indirect time tax that you also land up paying.

Can you think of other examples of time tax? If so, leave them in the Comments.

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